Dira Sudis ([info]dsudis) wrote,
@ 2005-07-15 22:52:00
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Entry tags:fic post, numb3rs

Happy SciFi Friday!
...which I apparently celebrate with Numb3rs deathfic. But it's just a tiny little fic! It's inspired by, in the sense of being a v. direct pastiche of, Douglas Coupland's "The Dead Speak," which I read at an impressionable age. This popped into my head a few weeks back, and found its way into words today.

Don/Charlie. Deathfic. Apocafic. Gruesome (although let me say, less so than Coupland's version. Scroll down for full text of "The Dead Speak.") Do I have to warn for incest when it ends this quickly and badly?


The Dead Speak: Charlie Eppes

I was raking leaves in the front yard when it happened. I heard tires squeal in the street, and by the time I looked up Don was jumping out of the car, leaving it parked halfway on the grass. I dropped the rake and stood there, frozen, and he grabbed me by the arms and kissed me. Kissed me, right there in front of God and everyone, and I thought either it was one of those dreams you have where you're naked at the grocery store, or else it was the end of the world. I kissed him back and then I pulled away far enough to ask him which it was, but his hands tightened on my arms and he looked over my shoulder and said, "Just look at me, Charlie. Don't look back."

I looked back. The flash was the last thing I saw; my vision stayed white and I felt something wet across my face--it may have been my eyes, I don't know. I felt Don's arms lock around me and heard a roaring sound, and then the blast hit and we were flying backwards. I felt his grip start to loosen and I tried to reach back and hold on, but my arms didn't work. Whatever we hit, he hit it first, and I hit him, our bodies combining right through whatever remained of our clothes and our skin, and then I was dead.



Sweet dreams, everyone!




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[info]iuliamentis
2005-07-16 03:05 am UTC (link)
our bodies combining right through whatever remained of our clothes and our skin

Gruesome, and yet so poetic and sweet!

*hearts*

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[info]dsudis
2005-07-16 03:07 am UTC (link)
I have this funny feeling like you personally compose the entire target audience for this fic. So it's a good thing you like it! :)

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[info]lynnmonster
2005-07-16 03:10 am UTC (link)
Okay, I actually love this. BOOM!

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[info]dsudis
2005-07-16 03:15 am UTC (link)
Yay! It's, y'know, over quickly, at least. :)

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[info]lynnmonster
2005-07-16 03:16 am UTC (link)
Two paragraphs! So much happens! Color me impressed!

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[info]dsudis
2005-07-16 03:18 am UTC (link)
*grins*

Oh, well. The originals give a very good framework (and actually I cheated; it should be pretty much all one paragraph, but I like my dialogue breaks. *g*)

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[info]lynnmonster
2005-07-16 03:21 am UTC (link)
I like my dialogue breaks

That's because you? Are SMRT.

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[info]dsudis
2005-07-16 07:37 pm UTC (link)
*preens*

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loving it dark
[info]logovo
2005-07-16 04:11 am UTC (link)
Huh - my comments are gone. *shakes fist at lj*
They were short and basically saying I really liked this. Oh, and some *meeps* and *wibbles*

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Re: loving it dark
[info]dsudis
2005-07-16 07:39 pm UTC (link)
Thanks! I killed my last OTP about twice, but hopefully this will be it for Don and Charlie. ;)

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[info]katma
2005-07-16 05:29 pm UTC (link)
Wow... so much emotion in two paragraphs. This is so well-written, and so painful! I had to read it two or three times to really get the full impact of it. Beautifully done.

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[info]dsudis
2005-07-16 07:40 pm UTC (link)
Thank you! I'm glad you liked it.

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[info]ange01
2005-07-18 01:34 pm UTC (link)
Coupland + Numb3rs = happy fangirl.

and yeah, this is horrific (man, Charlie's eyes, and I love how he doesn't listen to Don, right up to the last, because Charlie always wants to know) but it's sweet. Sweet all the same.

Would the cross between a yay and an ow be a yeeow? because that's about where I am. *wobbly grin*

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[info]dsudis
2005-07-18 02:51 pm UTC (link)
*grins*

They're two great tastes that taste... apocalyptic... together!

I'm glad you liked it!

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[info]evilsimon
2006-02-04 08:06 pm UTC (link)
Apocayptic NUMB3RS. Colour me squeedead.

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[info]dsudis
2006-02-05 02:17 am UTC (link)
*grins*

Glad you liked! This one is kind of an odd little duck.

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[info]rubynye
2008-07-11 07:17 pm UTC (link)
*jawdrop*

I. Uh.

It's perfect.

Also, horrifying.

(And hey, a Don and Charlie who are at least arguably worse off than those in Missing Persons!)

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[info]dsudis
2008-07-12 12:38 am UTC (link)
\o/

I've always been oddly fond of this little thing, I'm glad it worked for you!

And--I didn't actually include rocks nuclear warheads fall, everyone dies in my count of ways things went worse, but it certainly would have been one, nonetheless.

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[info]rubynye
2008-07-16 07:59 pm UTC (link)
I have to say, I'd love to see that list.

You should make a post where we all get to guess its contents! "Alan finds out!" "Don gets his ass killed bounty hunting!" "Williamson knows Mac is Donald Eppes!"

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[info]dsudis
2008-07-24 10:51 am UTC (link)
Do you know, oddly, I never even contemplated Alan finding out. That's just beyond my mental pale--even when I, uh...

Even when I entertained for a while a bunny about Don and Charlie getting discovered in flagrante and going to prison--or rather Don going to prison, Charlie attempting suicide in jail and then being committed for a good long stretch--

Even then, I made sure Alan was dead first, so he of all people would never know.


Don getting killed bounty hunting on the outskirts of Las Vegas, and the CSI team discovering his tattoo, and all the events unfolding from there, though, that was a favorite. :)

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[info]rubynye
2008-07-27 03:45 am UTC (link)
Even when I entertained for a while a bunny about Don and Charlie getting discovered in flagrante and going to prison--or rather Don going to prison, Charlie attempting suicide in jail and then being committed for a good long stretch--

I keep reading this and flailing and flailing and flailing. Good god what a [spectacular] mess.

(Oh, God, the CSI crossover! In whose arms would Charlie find comfort, dare I ask?)

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[info]dsudis
2008-07-29 12:24 am UTC (link)
You know, I don't think I ever got as far as how Charlie coped afterward--I mostly was thinking about a) how the CSI team's perception of Don shifted as they figured out more and more of who he was and b) how poor Henne had to go tell Alan and Charlie that Don was dead.

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[info]rubynye
2008-07-29 11:18 am UTC (link)
That is one of the differences between a plotbunny and a plot, innit? The plotbunny is what occurs to you, the plot you fill in the blanks that need filling so the whole thing will be a coherent structure.

(Also, oh, my God, poor agent Henne, what did he ever do to you? you'd've driven him to drink.)

(Also: I inadvertently reread the ficlet above, and how did I not notice before that you MELTED CHARLIE'S BIG BEAUTIFUL EYES? Well, ok, I guess the bomb did that.)

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[info]dsudis
2008-07-29 01:00 pm UTC (link)
Here is the thing about Henne--which I am going to have to explain, when/if I ever get around to posting the DVD extras. In the fall of 2005, when I had just begun writing MP, my alma mater's football team had a new quarterback, Chad Henne, who was roundly and constantly criticized for his team's mediocre performance--even though, as I and my best friend were constantly observing, it wasn't Henne's fault. He had a young, inexperienced offensive line in front of him; there was nothing he could do.

One of the few bright points of the team that year was Steve Breaston, one of the most successful receivers in the team's history.

And, while it doesn't especially answer the question of what Agent Henne ever did to me, that is where Agents Tod Henne and Steve Preston came from. :)

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[info]browngirl
2008-08-04 06:36 pm UTC (link)
*giggle* Poor, poor Henne. :) That explains a lot.

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